Destined 遐想 - Chapter 37

Chapter 37: Is this a joke?

For the next few weeks, even though it was still feeling slightly awkward, Roy dropped by almost everyday after school to hang out and bring me around the various sights of Taiwan. We went to the theme park, where he dragged me into rollercoaster rides that made me scream until my face went white when I got off. Played the various stall games and won myself several huge prizes. Actually he won some and gave them to me.

As I got to know him better, I could literally feel him opening up to me. Compared to the first time when I met him, he was so much more open, chirpy and animated. He would even play pranks on me!!! Of cos I am a blur queen, so there are some times when I don't even know I've been punked and I still look confused. But when I finally realise it, I would be chasing him around trying to get my revenge.

The few weeks was all very carefree and leisurely. We were acquaintances before. But now we were friends. Good friends. But that was all I could say. Nothing more. Don't let your imagination run wild. Guys like him won't even notice girls like me. Might not even treat me as a girl. Just a buddy. We were just good friends. But that was until my cousins came to visit. I stopped hanging out with him, and let's say I made myself unavailable to him.

I can't say that I avoided him totally. But I made sure I was busy with my cousins everytime he dropped by. Everytime he was so excited, but when I said I can't, I could tell that he was disappointed. But I didn't want to become too close to him, or I might just...

I don't know... I just didn't want to get hurt when I am alone in a foreign land... It was a natural protective shield...

But no shield could protect me from him...

It was destined that I would meet him that Christmas eve...

And that I would ask him back...

And that I would fall for him...

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Present... Back at Roy's house...

Roy pulled away the blanket and slipped himself inside and onto the guest bed. He snuggled up next to me and turned to look at me as I slept soundly.

Roy: I love you...

He leaned in and gave me a kiss on my lips. I stirred in my sleep and opened my eyes when I felt his lips touch mine. I saw him lying beside me on the bed.

Roy: Hello sleepyhead...

Ying: It's morning already? I fell asleep?

Roy: You fell asleep... But it's not morning yet...

Ying: Oh... Then go back to sleep then... It seems late... I'll see you tomorrow morning then...

I flipped over and closed my eyes to get back to sleep. I expected Roy to go back to his own room to sleep. But after some time I didn't feel or hear him getting off my bed so I turned back and realised that he was still there looking at me.

Ying: You're not tired?

He shoke his head.

Ying: You still want to chat, or do something together then? We can watch something on the TV...

He nodded his head.

I got up and walked to the TV and switched it on. It was showing a romance movie "Ever After".

Ying: Oh... Nice one... You wanna watch this?

Roy: Anything's fine...

Ying: Alright then. I sat up on the bed and puffed up some pillows to support my back against the headboard. Roy did the same and snuggled closer to me. Instinctively I placed my head on his shoulder and he placed his arm around me, pulling me nearer to his body.

Somewhere into the show, I was crying from the plot.

Roy: What's wrong? Why are you crying?

Ying: It's the show... Just ignore me... I'm a crybaby when it comes to such shows...

Roy: How can I ignore it when you're crying?

He pulled me to face him and wiped the tears from my face.

Roy: It's only a movie my dear... Don't be so sad...You're breaking my heart...

Ying: I can't help it... My tears just flow... Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic that wishes that all love stories will end happily ever after...

Roy: I don't know about others... But I know yours will... Cos you've got me... I love you...

He leaned in and gave me a soft kiss. I reached up and placed my arms behind his back. When he felt my arms around him, he pulled me closer to him and kissed me harder and more passionately. In the heat of the moment, we made love to each other.

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The next morning...

I woke up with the sun shining into the guest room. I looked around but Roy was already not around. I got out of bed and got my clothes back on, and walked over to his room. He wasn't there either. I walked downstairs and the entire house was empty. I made myself a coffee while I waited for him. I noticed a note on the counter.

Morning sleepyhead,
Sorry I gotta rush off. Something cropped up. You can head on back first, as you've got classes later. I'll call you later.
Love ya,
Roy xxxx

I made myself some breakfast and cleaned up before leaving the house. I took a bus back to my hostel to change my clothes before going for my classes. I didn't hear from Roy later that day, soIi sent him a text message letting him know that I am already back at my hostel. I didn't get a reply even until the next morning. I was starting to get a bit worried.

I went to his hostel, and there was no one there. I left a note there too. Another week went by and there was still no response or news from him.

Wilbur: So we'll do it like this right? Ying? Ying... Ying...

I gazed up at Wilbur blurly. We were discussing some project and I was totally distracted with thoughts of Roy.

Milk: Ying... What's up with you these days... You seem so distracted...

Zax: Yeah... And I haven't seen Roy around for some time already... Did you guys have a fight? That's why you're so distracted?

Wilbur and Milk threw Zax a dirty look.

Once I heard Roy's name. I darted back to life.

Ying: Roy... Where is he? Is he here? You saw him? Where?

Milk: No Ying... He's not here... What's wrong with you guys? Are you okay?

Milk and Wilbur gathered around me to calm me down. By now I felt so desperate and depressed that I wanted to cry. Bottled up feelings flooded my mind and my eyes started to tear.

Ying: I don't know what's happening... One minute he was still around in his house... And the next he was gone when I woke up... Now I can't even contact him... He hasn't responded to my calls or sms-es or notes for two weeks already... I don't know if something's happened to him... Gosh I am going mad with worry...

Wilbur: There there... I'm sure he has his reasons... He's probably busy with school and practice so he can't reply to you...

Zax: Hey... wait a minute... what do you mean by "he was gone when you woke up"... you guys spent the night together at his house!!!

Milk, Wilbur and Zac looked at me. I nodded my head in between sobbing.

Zax: Ah... that explains it...

Ying: What do you mean by that?

Zac: He got what he wanted and... sayo.... *mmmmmmm*

Milk and Wilbur covered Zax's mouth before he could say out the most unpleasant news to me. But I heard it. And I understood what he meant. I wiped the tears from my eyes.

Milk: Ying... I'm sure it's not like what he said...

Ying: It's okay Milk... I can take it... But if you guys can pardon me... We'll continue this tomorrow? I need to take some rest now...

I walked off back to my hostel.

Wilbur: Why would you say something like that to her?

Zax: But that's probably what's happening... You can't blame me if the guy's a bastard...

Milk: That's true Wilbur... Just let her have some peace and quiet for a while... We can't do anything to help her now...

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Last day in Taiwan...

After the painful break of news to me, I cried for an entire day. But I forced myself to get back to normal the very next morning. I acted normally for everything, classes, projects, etc. So that the guys won't worry about me. I told myself that I won't cry another tear for him. He was not worth it. And I managed to do it. I engrossed myself with school work until I had no time to think of other things at all.

My exchange soon ended. And even on the last day, I didn't receive anything from Roy. But I left him a sms saying that I was leaving Taiwan to go back to Singapore. I left Taiwan with a heavy, but broken heart. And I vowed never to trust anyone so easily again. I don't think I could bear another broken heart again. It was too painful.

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Two months later....

After my exchange, I was due to graduate in another month's time. After I graduated, I got a job working as a producer in a private media company. Work was very hard and tough, hours were long, and the pay wasn't exactly fabulously glam like how many thought the media industry was like.

One day during a shoot, I was feeling immensely nauseous. And I puked. Several times. Thinking it was a gastric problem I went to see a doctor after the shoot.

Doctor: Congratulations... You're 3 months pregnant...

Ying: What??!!!

Doctor: You're pregnant...

Ying: But this can't be... I... Wait a minute... How many months did you say?

Doctor: 3 months...

Ying's thoughts: Damn it...

Ying: Thanks doctor... I'll just be going now...

I texted Ning.

Doc said I am 3 mths pregnant... How ironic is that? Ha ha... I'm dead... What am I going to do?

I got a call back immediately.

Ning: What are you talking about?

Ying: I'm 3 months pregnant...

Ning: WHAT?!!!! YOU.... What you don't have a boyfriend now... Who's baby is that? Don't tell me it's...

Ying: Roy's...

Ning: Are you gonna tell him?

Ying: Even if I do... I don't know if he'll respond to me... Ah heck it... I'll just send him a sms... If he replies, then he replies, if he doesn't he doesn't... I don't care anymore...

Ning: But he's the baby's dad... He should take responsibility...

Ying: It's okay Ning... I can take care of the baby myself... I created this mess... I'll take responsibility for my own actions... Bye...

I sent Roy a sms.

Hi Roy,
It's been some time since I've last heard from you. I know this may be kind of abrupt. But just to let you know, I'm pregnant with your baby. I don't know what's your decision on this. But I'm keeping it, with or without you. That's all.
Regards,
Ying

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Another 5 months passed....

No news from Roy at all. I think you can pretty much say that I have given up all hope in him. I've worked like crazy to try to save more money for the baby. It was 2 more months before my due date. Wilbur, Milk and Zax had sent their well wishes and made prior notice to me that they wanted to be the baby's God Dads, whether it was a girl or boy. They didn't probe much, as they all knew from Ning that Roy was the dad. They just wanted to show as much support as they could at this fragile moment.

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One day on the road...

Milk was driving and he notice a familiar face driving in a car beside his. He looked over and stared. It was Roy. He horned at him. And Roy looked over and noticed Milk. They parked by the road and got off.

Roy: Milk!!! Boy am I glad to see you. It's been a long time... Have you seen Ying? How is she? Is she still in Taiwan?

Milk was boiling when he saw him. Needless to say when he heard Ying's name, he punched Roy.

Roy: What are you doing? Why are you hitting me?

Milk: Ask yourself what have you done. Where have you been all these months? She's already gone back to Singapore. She's not going to wait around here for a heartless cad like you...

Roy: Wait.... what do you mean? She's gone back? My grandma was seriously ill back then, so I left in a hurry to go see her. I didn't even have time to call Ying. And when I reached my grandma's I realised I had lost my handphone and all my contacts. I couldn't contact her at all. I only got back 3 months later... And then I saw her note in my hostel... But I guess by that time she had already left for Singapore... Cos when I went to look for her at her hostel, it was already someone else staying there... Oh my... she must think I was trying to dump her by disappearing... Gosh... I've gotta explain things to her... Do you have her address and contact number? I'll go look for her when I'm there for filming next week...

Milk: You better be telling the truth... Or you'll be sorry...

Milk gave Roy my contact details, and Roy thanked him profusely before rushing off.

Milk's thoughts: He seemed genuinely apologetic... Maybe we were all wrong about him... Oh no... If his phone is lost, that means he doesn't even know he's going to be a daddy...

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One week later... Void deck of Ying's flat...

Roy got off the cab and was looking around at the void deck, when I came down in a lift to purchase some things from the shop downstairs. When I saw him I got a shock. I didn't expect him to respond to my text. Neither did I expect him to be here. But he got a shock too. He didn't expect me to move on so quickly, and get married and get pregnant.

Roy: Hi Ying...

Ying: Hi Roy...

Roy: How are you doing?

Ying: I'm fine...

Roy: I see you are pregnant...

Ying: Yeah...

Roy: When is the baby due?

Ying: In a month's time... In October...

Roy: Oh...

Awkward silence.

Roy: So how's your erm... the baby's daddy...

He couldn't bring himself to say the word husband, as he could not accept the fact that the woman he loved had now belonged to someone else.

I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart with a 12 inch knife. I was bleeding inside.

Ying's thoughts: What do you mean? YOU are the baby's dad.... If you don't want to acknowledge the baby, why are you here? Doing this? Saying all these?

I took a deep breath and replied.

Ying: He's doing fine too... I guess...

Awkward silence.

Ying: Why are you here? For work?

Roy: I'm here for work... I'll be here for a month, until early November. Here's my card.

Ying: I see... Look I've gotta go now... I need to go to the restroom again... See you... Bye...

I walked off and got back into the lift.

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Next day at production meeting...

Director: These are our cast for the drama serial...

In walked Roy.

Ying's thoughts: Oh my god, this can't be happening!!!

Roy's face also showed shock when he walked in and saw me. But he remained professional and shoke everyone's hands and took his seat.